gotta keep going

i'm having a really hard time studying for the CPA exam. i think i cry almost every time i study for it. it's just really hard for me and very time consuming. there are so many other things that i would rather be doing and sometimes i feel so defeated when i keep getting practice questions wrong over and over again. it's hard to keep going. accounting has never come easily to me. i love the numbers part of it and i'm pretty good at memorizing, but sometimes my brain has a hard time wrapping around what the numbers actually mean. for a lot my friends in accounting, it comes really naturally for them. and i can't help but compare myself to them. there's also so much pressure to pass all four parts of the exam and get my CPA as soon as possible. a lot of times it just feels like too much. i know i'm the one who chose to go into this profession. i know that i do like it (sometimes). but i also chose accounting because i had already spent so many years in school that i just needed to choose a major and stick with it. i'm so jealous of anyone out there that knows exactly what they want to do and what they are good at. anyways, i keep trying to remind myself that this is exactly where God wants me to be and that maybe He wants me at MHM to talk to someone about Him or to just show someone at my work who Christ is. which, i am a horrible example of who God is but still, i'm hoping He can use me. and honestly, that's one of the very few things that's really getting me through studying. i'm trying to do it all for His glory. and i'm trying to remember that this will all be worth it. it's not about the money or the title or the status. it's about honoring God and letting Him have His way with me.